Grudthak's Ogre Cave

The Manifesto of an Anarchist Dark Pagan

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This one cant get much worse surely
So it's the new year, lets hope it's better than the one that just abruptly ended. I am currently feeling like shit, not physically but looking down the barrel of even more days of smiling politely and putting up with people who frankly give me the shits and having NO CHOICE. Worst part is, I am not even getting paid to do this.

Seems some people get offended if I refuse to attend gatherings, but then get shitty that I am not "Participating". Sorry fuckwits, but I dont drink, I havent seen the inspid Movie/TV show you are parroting endlessly, I dont play poker and frankly I find your company as boring as a country town on wet sunday afternoon.

I need to get myself another project/hobby/interest happening as Wrestling is only an occasional thing (And many of them I dont really want to be accosiating with in my free time). Now that I am Working and medically cleared, perhaps I will get back to SCA...

But only if I can be a Stick Jock and not worry about the other stuff (And people)...

End of Year Meme


1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Ring Announce for a Pro-Wrestling Federation and contemplate my own mortality

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I tend to avoid New Years Resolutions, if I decide to do something I will try and get it done... end of story

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

4. Did anyone close to you die?

5. What countries did you visit?
Didnt leave Western Australia

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Clean Bill of Health, Job Security

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Creating a non-wrestling character who has a greater crowd appeal then some of the wrestlers themselves.

9. What was your biggest failure?
6+ months of unemployment

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
See earlier posts

11. What was the best thing you bought?
The new BBQ

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Gen's for continued breaking out of her shell, and Beck's for gritting her teeth and hanging on through some hard months without caving in to temptation

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My own, I have realised that after 3 months of relative isolation (After the Shirt Ninja Breakdown) I have become somewhat socially retarded and really have no patience for most people anymore...
Especially when alcohol is involved

14. Where did most of your money go?
Not that I had much myself, but Bills and living costs

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Getting a job

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
Rammstein - Pussy (One of my true LOL moments for the year)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
About the same, this time of year shits me

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
More effective use of the time I had off

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Time Off

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Bored, Annoyed and surrounded...

21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
Gen or Mum

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?
I fall back in love with Gen almost every day...

23. How many one-night stands?

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Top Gear

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Hate is a strong word, but there are a few strong dislikes

26. What was the best book you read?
Finished the Sharpe Series in February

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

28. What did you want and get?
The medical condition to be minor and annoying, not major and lethal...
Some spark back into our sex-life...

29. What did you want and not get?
A trip to South Australia

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Nothing really interested me film-wise

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Turned 31, Had a BBQ

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Not being assfucked by the medical profession and potential employers

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
comfortable and not-quite-as-much black

34. What kept you sane?
Rigid Self Control, Sporadic D&D, Sex

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Steve Conroy, I fancy I would like to stove his head in with a heavy rock

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The Australian Internet Filter, R18+ classification for Video Games

37. Who did you miss?

38. Who was the best new person you met?

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
Save or a rainy day, but also build a weather control machine

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Thank you for the belly laugh generated by #35!

Hang Tough, my friend!

8. Yup *thumbs up*

Just out of curiosity, why is it that you don't drink? I think I may have heard you mention it once but my memory is atrocious. I don't drink myself so I suppose its good to know people in the same situation. I have to admit, going to parties isn't all that fun for me either. Case in point, New Years. Matt started on the drink, forgot all about me, proceeded to get completely wasted, only to realize/remember I was there when I took him to the laundry basin to throw-up, and helped him to bed afterwards ((Oh right! That's why I don't go to NY parties. Totally forgot 'bout that!))

Sigh...I only really go to parties because Matt wants me there but its hard to find something to do when everyone else is perfectly happy getting drunk leaving you to try and entertain yourself on your own. Tried to play a bit of Tekken 6 but its hard to get into games when you feel you shouldn't be playing them. I was supposed to be socializing or..."experiencing" new things as Matt puts it. Hmmm...what do you do when you're at a party and everyone gets drunk?

lol birds of a feather and all right there... ;)

Okay, I gave away drinking completely when I was 19. I cover it well, but I suffer from a near constant state of depression (It just varies how much). Back when I used to drink, the alcohol triggered self-destructive tendancies, put simply I could go for ages without a drink, but once I had one, no idea or act, no matter how stupid was out of bounds.

For example, one night I was already pretty well smashed and someone dared me to skull a full litre of scotch. I woke uip in hospital after having had a stomach pump and a shot of adrenaline to keep my heart going.

As to party survival, my main trick is to avoid them completely, hence why I wasn't at Matt's house for the Christmas do. For the unavoidable ones (Like at Shane & Beck's) I tend to adopt the "Sober person with a driver's licence" mantle and pretend to have a good time. Only reason I even go is because Geneva is having a good time and I can't begrudge her that.

As for the playing of video games, if the machine is free, do it. If anyone (Including Matt) tries to tell you off, simply state
"Do you see myself getting plastered right now...? No...? Right, then go and have fun"

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